It’s 3:26 in the morning, and I’m still widely awake, just because I’m still accepting the fact that one of my dream is not achievable anymore.
Since I got into university, I’ve always aimed at graduating with first class honor. I’ve even told my parents I’ll get it to show that I’m capable. But in fact, I’m not. Well, I had a nice start in my very first semester, probably when others are still adapting to university life. That semester is also my only semester without involving in lab work, so I simply study + 2 hrs football, just like my life in US. I don’t solely blame lab work, as I chose to do it. But it’s still hard to accept the fact. Somehow I just lost the aim of my university life. I don’t see the point of studying hard for the next semester. I’d rather maybe read more papers, lock myself in lab. Theoretically, I still have chance, but I need to get a TGA of 4, which I don’t think I can do it with all those 3000/4000 level courses. Looking at my peers, the major required courses for Biology/Biotechnology, somehow, is easier to get better grades, or they just take more humanities, social science 1000 level courses to get a good grade. I don’t blame myself for not choosing those courses that I don’t like, just for good grades, but I just get jealous of others.
I just like the grading system in US, at least my effort paid off, and I can take my time to study. Gosh, HK’s is way too stressful and inefficient.
Well I know I should also blame myself for being lazy, but, I tried my best, and that’s all I can say.
But there’s always one thing I believe: God always has a better plan for me.
I just still need some more time to sink in this fact.